Fizzy
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Difficult SituationI go to a tennis club and have been a member there for about 8 years now so I know the majority of the members and am good friends with the coach. I often go along to Tuesday evening club play which is for women only, and there are only three of us who are young - the rest are all over 35 or something - so I tend to pair up and rally with the other two young people.
One of them is only 14 though, and she recently found me on Facebook and added me then added me to MSN through that. I didn't really mind because that way we can organise when to play tennis, but she's talking to me everytime she logs onto MSN now and it seems slightly obsessive. Additionally, the other week she said that nearer Christmas there's an ice rink going to be set up near where we live and said that we should go...
Personally I feel it's not right being friends like that with someone who's six years younger than me, and I'm getting a bit freaked out. Yes, I could block her on MSN, but she's a nice person and we get on fine at the tennis club so I feel that blocking her would be a bit harsh. There's no easy way of telling her that I don't want to be her friend outside of tennis either.
There's another issue too related to this kind of, but I'll wait until people reply to this first thing before I confuse anyone!
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Joey
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Maybe Speak To Her Mum When She Finishes Tennis Or Something?
It Sounds Abit Weird That She Seems Abit Obessive, Maybe Just Speak To Her And Explain Things?
It Sounds
Bit Strange To Me.
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Fizzy
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I never see her parents she's quite independent for her age.
On MSN it's like talking to a crazy person honestly, she talks like nonstop and literally everything she says has 'lol' or 'hehe' or 'haha' or 'xxxxxxx' in it. It feels like I'm her only friend or something.
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RichieRich
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to be honest I have a lot older friends and a lot younger friends as long as your just FRIENDS then I don't see that there should be a problem 
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Fizzy
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There's a difference though between having older friends and younger friends at my age. I'm 20 and I don't think twice about having a friend who's 26, but because she's 14 I just don't feel very comfortable. At the moment it's just a friendship at the tennis club and I'm ok with it, but I just get the impression that she wants me to be her friend to go out to the cinema with and stuff she'd do with people her age.
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iliveinireland
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Yeah,thats abit strange 
Her mam should know about that.You never know,what if that 14 year old done the same thing with someone else thats a man or a weirdo and she gets raped or something 
I am 14 and i wouldnt be best friends with a 20 year old 
Maybe your the only person she feels close to and she doesnt really enjoy spending time with anyone else
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citricsquid
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You're all so narrow minded?
She obviously looks up to you as a role model and you should stay in that position, set her a good example to her etc.
You need to tell her why you can't be friends outside of the "Club" but tell her you still wantt to be friends there, if she is attached to you, mentally she'll feel so upset if you tell her just to go away.
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Fizzy
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| citricsquid wrote: | | You need to tell her why you can't be friends outside of the "Club" but tell her you still wantt to be friends there, if she is attached to you, mentally she'll feel so upset if you tell her just to go away. |
Yeah that's the trouble - she might not necessarily understand what I mean when I say I don't want to be friends with her outside the club. She might not even realise that what she's doing is strange.
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H-H
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| Fizzy wrote: | | citricsquid wrote: | | You need to tell her why you can't be friends outside of the "Club" but tell her you still wantt to be friends there, if she is attached to you, mentally she'll feel so upset if you tell her just to go away. |
Yeah that's the trouble - she might not necessarily understand what I mean when I say I don't want to be friends with her outside the club. She might not even realise that what she's doing is strange. |
don't be patronising to her though - she'd soon figure that one out... just tone down the relationship with her a bit... don't talk to her on msn as much - if she starts going crazy with the lol's and xxx's then just don't reply for a minute or two so she gets the message... and only meet up at the tennis - meeting up with 14 yr olds is a bit weird socially - i wouldn't even really hang around with 14 yr olds any more - and im only 15...
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Fizzy
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Yeah I don't plan to hang about with her outside the club.
And on MSN I do take ages to reply already lol but she still goes lol lol hahahaha xxxx love uuuu... 
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H-H
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lol well maybe she's just a very hyper child 
i think just if you don't meet her outside the club she won't be too bad..
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Joey
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Get her to join swapits and the forum 
but make sure she doesnt see this and then she wont annoy you as much
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Fizzy
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She texted me yesterday saying ''hey are you free tomorrow to play tennis or sumthing? how are you text back xx''
Almost implies that she was thinking we would go like shopping together or whatever. I didn't reply, too cold to play tennis lol.
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Kitty
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She might be lonely or something? Find her some friends her own age!
She might be talking to you loads, 'cause it makes her feel grown up?
I guess the only way to solve it is to talk to her about it
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Fizzy
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| Kitty wrote: | She might be lonely or something?
I guess the only way to solve it is to talk to her about it |
Yeah I thought maybe it was that, because the school she goes to is about half an hour away from where she lives so I thought maybe she lives too far away from her school friends.
I can't really talk to her about it, because as far as she's concerned she probably doesn't see it the way I'm seeing it.
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Peew4K
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Have a word with her mum, tell her that you dont want to be seen as a Peado and tell her that you would be happy to take her to the cinema sometime or something like that, it's entirely up to you! hope I helped!
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Fizzy
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| Paulolad wrote: | | Have a word with her mum, tell her that you dont want to be seen as a Peado and tell her that you would be happy to take her to the cinema sometime or something like that, it's entirely up to you! hope I helped! |
Sorry your post wasn't helpful actually..
Firstly I don't think that having somebody six years younger than me wanting to be my friend would make people think I'm a paedophile. I don't want to be her friend outside of tennis, so the cinema suggestion isn't relevant either.
Speaking to her mum has already been mentioned.
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Peew4K
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well find your own way then.
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Fizzy
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Sorry if my reply sounded harsh, but I find it kinda annoying when people don't read what's already been said!
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Peew4K
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ok
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ornamurray
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maby she has lke not many friends at school and is having a hard time at home like or something. so like just tell her your phone is brocken and you cant ext and on msn appear offline i do it all the time if i dont want to talk to some people or just appear busy and if shes asks at tennis next time say you were not there.but like dont stop talking all the time.i knew a girl like that as well thats what i did and it help now we only talk went we are so board and have no one eles to talk to. hope this helped:) add karma plz
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Fizzy
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I've found out that she does loads of out of school activities, like five different sports plus she learns guitar as well as school work. I asked her yesterday when does she get the time to see her school friends out of school and she said school holidays. I've also found out that she texts our tennis coach (my friend) all the time as well and she's 34... I think she's just a bit lonely and likes feeling grown up perhaps.
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