REALLY FUNNY FOOTBALL JOKES

 
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laura.k

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 3:49 pm    Post subject: REALLY FUNNY FOOTBALL JOKES
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ROY KEANE JOKE

Fire brigade phones roy keane in the early hours of Sunday morning...
"roy keane, Roker Park is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" replies roy keane.
"Well...the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."

STEVE MCCLAREN JOKE


steve mcclaren goes to a party and dresses up as pumpkin and rooney says nice suit the then steve says i wish someone could turn me into a coach

ALAN CURBISHLY


alan curbishly seen today blatently talking on his phone while driving , he'll do anything to get 3 points!!

NEWCASTLE JOKE

what do u do when newcastle united win the prem?
turn the xbox 360 off!


CUDICINI JOKE

Carlo Cudicini was walking down the street one day when he heard screams from a nearby building. He looked up to see smoke billowing from a fourth story window with a woman leaning out holding a baby.

"Help, help!" she screamed, "I need someone to catch my baby!"

A crowd of onlookers had gathered, but no one was confident of catching a baby dropped from such a great height. Then Cudicini stepped forward.

"I’m the Chelsea goalkeeper,” he shouted to the woman. "I’m famous for my safe hands. Drop the baby, for me it will be like catching a ball"

And with that he adopts the classic goalkeepers stance - legs apart and slightly bent at the knees, body slightly bent forward at the waist and with his arms stretched downwards at a slight angle away from his body, with palms facing forward.

"OK!" screams the woman. "I'll trust you. I've no choice! Here she comes!"

So, with the flames roaring all around her, the woman throws the baby from the window. However, the edge of the baby's shawl catches on the woman's watch with the result that the child goes spinning off to one side, tumbling head over heels and with her little arms and legs flailing.

The woman screams and the crowd gasps, all sure that the baby will perish because she will fall out of reach of the man.
Cudicini remains motionless as the child descends, spinning and tumbling further and further away from him as she comes. Then when the baby is only feet from hitting the ground Cudicini dives a full 30 feet across the pavement, catches the baby in his outstretched right hand, pulls her in towards his chest and shields her body with his left hand and arm.

The crowd erupts with cheers and the woman, still in danger herself, nearly faints with relief. Cudicini, still clutching the child to his chest in his right arm, waves to the crowd of onlookers to acknowledge their appreciation. Then, slowly and gracefully, he turns away from them, bounces the baby twice on the ground, and kicks her 60 yards down the road.


And fiinsh it off with a big baby



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:19 pm    Post subject:
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Good jokes

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laura.k

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 8:45 pm    Post subject:
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I thought they were well funny when i read them.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:04 pm    Post subject:
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The Steve Mcclareen one didn't make sense, he was manager, not coach.

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laura.k

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:34 pm    Post subject:
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Yeah some of the ones don't exactly match up but still great jokes.I found them on a site.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 9:02 pm    Post subject:
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i like the ALAN CURBISHLY one

heard the newcastle on but slightly different.

it was. was does a wigan fan do when they have beaten chelsea.

turn off the ps2

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:01 pm    Post subject:
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I have heard the newcastle one with Ipswich (Im a norwich fan)

Like Mclaren and curb one though,

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:06 pm    Post subject:
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lol wat a baby

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laura.k

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 9:32 pm    Post subject:
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Prob see him do it again soon if portugal lose the euro's

Doubt there gonna lose though.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:27 pm    Post subject:
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cool    i like the newcastle one    lol

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Jasper

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 5:20 pm    Post subject:
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HA! I love the one about Cudicini, but i have heard it in many different ways before.Still good though...

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